Friday, December 14, 2012

Now Presenting...The 200 Album Awards!


It’s been about a year and a half since we passed the 100 album mark. We’re sorry it took us so long to reach the next milestone, but now that we’ve successfully completed 20 percent of our objective, it seems like an appropriate time for somber reflection on all the brave hours lost fighting to protect us from boredom and homework. So, please, join us in a moment of silence…

Aaaaaand we’re done. Now that that is out of the way, it feels like the right time for celebration and joyful remembrance of albums both good and bad. That’s right; it’s time for our second 1001 Album Review Award Show!

While it did, admittedly, take a bit of pleading and both literal and figurative prodding, we’re excited to announce that Billy Crystal agreed to host the ceremony. Then we discovered, much to our chagrin, that Billy Crystal wanted to be paid for it. We turned to our fallback plan of getting James Franco and Anne Hathaway to host, but discovered that James Franco-Anne Hathaway-Oscars jokes have become tragically outdated. Pressed, we decided to dust off our evening gowns and host this special event ourselves yet again. Here’s hoping Ricky Gervais answers his voicemail in time for the 300th one, though.

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Zack: This first award will require a bit of explaining. Perhaps you could even say that it is rather…confusing. Oh you don’t get that yet? This is the award for the most confusing album. How about now? Some albums just raise questions. That is not a comment on the quality, just a statement on the fact that there is some lingering element to the listening experience that prevents you from merely finishing the album and moving on. Sometimes, you need answers. The nominees for the "General Petraeus Award" are…

The Good, the Bad & the Queen – The Good, the Bad & the Queen
Butthole Surfers – Locust Abortion Technician
Devo – Q: Are We Not Men? A: We Are Devo!
Moby – Play
Holger Czukay – Movies

And the winner is….The Good, the Bad & the Queen! Moby made us ask why someone would just stop making a good album halfway through. Holger Czukay made us question what the hell Krautrock is. Butthole Surfers and Devo probably tie for quantity of questions raised. But if you’re talking quality of questions, nobody beats The Good, the Bad & the Queen. With a star-studded lineup like that, how is this album not emanating awesomeness? How is it possible to listen to it and not immediately hit replay. It just doesn’t make sense. And I suspect it never will.

Emily: My first award goes out to those albums we listened to way back when, in a time where we were fairly productive on this blog. I often say that I want to listen to certain albums again but I also often forget to when scrolling through the recesses of my iPod's artist list. Now, though, after looking back through the beginning of this last 100 group, a few albums deserve better than to be gathering virtual dust after one listen. The nominees for the "Relisten Now (or Later) Award" are...

The Sonics - Here Are The Sonics
Lou Reed - Berlin
Radiohead - The Bends
Joni Mitchell - Blue
Klaxons - Myths of the Near Future

The winner is...Radiohead! You see, a couple months back I actually did return to Radiohead. I was working on a paper and needed some music to calm my mind and keep me focused. I came across Radiohead in my iTunes library, turned it on, and just fell into it. Even after the paper was complete, I relistened to it a few more times. Looking back at my original review, I wasn't a big fan but predicted that I needed another listen or two to fully appreciate it - that was true, and only took a year to realize it. First impressions are one of the faults of this blog, and I'm glad to have given this album (and soon the other nominees) a second chance.

Zack: If someone has the audacity to compile a list of albums and include in the title a pseudo-threatening reference to my (most likely) untimely demise, you think they would also have the courtesy to make sure all of those albums are good. Tragically, when your goal is the perfectly symmetrical 1001, sometimes a few fillers have to get added in. Sometimes they’re worse than that. These are those times. The nominees for the "Deep Throat Award" are…

The Louvin Brothers – Tragic Songs of Life and Death
KISS – Destroyer
Willie Colon and Ruben Blades – Siembra
Queen Latifah – All Hail the Queen
Buck Owens – I’ve Got a Tiger by the Tail

And the winner is….. The Louvin Brothers, Tragic Songs of Life and Death! This one was tough. I mean, it was clearly between Louvin Brothers and Buck Owens all the way. The others weren’t very good, but they weren’t as tortuous as those two. But how to decide between two horrendous albums that seemed to be trying to undo all the goodwill Johnny Cash, Dolly Parton, Willie Nelson, Ryan Adams, and Silver Jews built up? I ultimately decided on length. Tragic Songs is about seven minutes longer than Tiger by the Tail. If you’re going to suffer, might as well do it for a shorter period of time.

Emily: As we've learned so clearly over the past 200 albums, one's musical taste may not reflect that of someone else. Some of the albums that we "must hear before we die" may have actually made us want to, well, die. Or at least attack our eardrums with a pointy object. The nominees for the "Ear Splitter Award" are...

Aphex Twin - Selected Ambient Works 85-92
Buck Owens - I've Got a Tiger by the Tail
Butthole Surfers – Locust Abortion Technician
ZZ Top - Eliminator
Iron Maiden - The Number of the Beast

And the winner is...Butthole Surfers! I think this album actually caused me physical ear pain. It was weird, but not in a good way. Definitely an unpleasant way. They had such promise for fun ridiculousness with that band name too...though I guess the album title should've been a clearer indicator for me to brace myself (not that I had a choice - thanks list-writers!)

Zack: We try and point out when an album is just transcendentally great whenever we can, but it’s hard to account for staying power. You may be blown away by an album the first time you hear it, but progressive listens take away some of the glamor. Likewise, extra plays can add value. After those initial listens, we try to provide the most honest review we can, but we often have to try and project for these variables. Even in varying degrees of retrospect, things can get mixed up. For instance, if I were to re-do the last best album ceremony, my nominees would be almost completely different (Hendrix, Neil Young, Johnny Cash, Jeff Buckley, and Pixies). But here we can at least try and nail down some semblance of a comparative analysis. With that in mind, the nominees for the "Hindsight Award" are…

The Clash – London Calling
Wilco – Yankee Hotel Foxtrot
Radiohead – The Bends
Nas – Illmatic
Patti Smith – Horses

And the winner is…The Clash, London Calling! It was album No. 108 for us, and even back then I called it on par with my winner from the previous awards and what I had long considered my favorite album of all time, The Jimi Hendrix Experience’s Are You Experienced?. Time has not swayed my mind. In fact, it’s reinforced it. I listen to this album all the time and it never loses its luster. Horses and Yankee Hotel Foxtrot are both excellent. Illmatic remains my second favorite hip-hop album of all time (behind Eric B. and Rakim’s Paid in Full, which isn’t even on the list, as I’ve mentioned a thousand times). And The Bends pretty much singlehandedly got me through Hurricane Sandy (note: gratuitous exaggeration). But London Calling is on a different level than just mere greatness. When people ask what my favorite album is now, I tell them it’s a tie. And I expect to feel the same way when we clear 300 albums as well.


Emily: Picking my favorite albums of the last 100 was extremely difficult. Partially this was because it's been so long since I've listened to some of them, but it's also because there were just so many fantastic albums in this group. Some are noted classics, while others snuck up on me and quietly blew me away. There are some notable exceptions to the nominees for this award, but like with all awards shows that inevitably happens. While considering the nominees for the "I Can Barely Pick Just One! Award," feel free to debate the merits of my choices.

Wilco - Yankee Hotel Foxtrot
The Clash - London Calling
Lauryn Hill - The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill
Patti Smith - Horses
The Beatles - Revolver

And the winner is...The Clash! Yes, Zack and I agree on this one. London Calling is indisputably one of the greatest albums of all time. It's innovative, unique, and just plain awesome. My words just can't do it justice. Of course, all of the nominees are deserving of the title of "greatest" - that's why they're on this list after all. However, London Calling is simply a cut above the rest.

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Thank you for taking the time to indulge us in our celebration. Normal posts will return shortly. With winter break right around the corner for us, we’re hoping to make quite a bit of progress in the upcoming month. We’re a fifth of the way there, guys. It’s not happening quickly, but it is happening. That’s a victory in itself, right? Right? Please say right…



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