Zack: Here’s a riddle for you: How much grindcore
does it take for a person to know that hell is real? Well, Napalm Death holds
the record for shortest song at 1.316 seconds, so that long exactly. Seriously,
if there’s anyone who still argues that rock and roll is the devil’s music,
they should just go around to schools playing this album. If I was 6 and someone
did that, I would have been like, “Yep, electric guitars summon Beelzebub, got
it” and moved on to a life of quietly reading the Bible in corners and trying
not to whisper too loudly. I mean this is the absolute nicest way, but what the
absolute fuck was that? I got that it was a double album that is somehow still
only 33 minutes long. And I got that time is relative now that I learned that
listening to a single 33 minute album can somehow be stretched into several
lifetimes. But beyond that, I have no idea what just happened beyond
RRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH,
cymbal crash, repeat. If an alien landed and you played any song from this
album and then like Hey Jude and told the alien that the creatures who made
those were of the same species, that alien would punch you in the face with
whatever appendage it had before probing you with the biggest, sharpest arm of
the probulator. That’s an empirical fact. I feel bad for my computer for having
housed the data files that comprise this album for so long. It must have been
sick knowing what horror it was harboring. Just, AH! Never again.
Favorite(?) Tracks: You Suffer; Siege of Power; Moral
Crusade
Emily: I could not discern a single word on this album, unless RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAHHHHH RAGE NOISE RAGE NOISE RAGE NOISE is a word that I am unfamiliar with. I just don't understand how to appreciate this music, or how anyone could. It's loud, grating, screamy, and migraine-inducing. I had a headache after 3 songs, which was approximately 2 minutes in. Maybe someone out there understands this album, but now I just need to detox with some pleasant melodies.
Favorite Tracks: Common Enemy; Sacrificed; Siege of Power
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